I am glued to this city
I am not from Kolkata; I wasn’t born here. My tryst with the city began with my college days. But now, 25 yrs old, I am neck deep in love for this place that has the least roadspace in the country and ranks among the most polluted and populated cities on the globe. The same is applicable for Sup (I wouldn’t name her). When she first came here she was well into her early twenties. She studied here, worked here, lived with people who eventually became her family, made friends, fell in and out of love and lo….its time for her to leave again. This time she is heading for Mumbai. Though it’s just for 3 months I know she hates to have to go.
The other day, the day we first came to know that she has to leave, we were kind of sad. Some years ago, I got through the CIEFL entrance test for M.A. That was one of my worst successes - the institute is in Hyderabad. Some still think that my decision to stay back has been suicidal for my career and that I’ll stay on here while everyone that matter, all my friends, will move on to other cities and healthier pay packets. What they don’t understand is that I stay in Kolkata by choice and not by obligation. Every time there has been an opportunity to leave this place, I have created an alibi for myself; fabricated a reason (mostly a relationship) strong enough to pull me back. I now realise that all those liaisions, have just been excuses not to leave this home….my whole wide world.
Anyways…I won’t keep you in suspense any longer…the reason why I have been telling you all this is…this is the only place in where I can face solitude…the only place where I can dare to be alone, face break ups, dejection, frustration…and everything bitter. One day I had a fight with someone and walked about a mile (Gariahat to Park Circus) alone, tears streaming down my eyes. This city has always stood by me; it walks with me when I am sad and I no longer have the courage to leave…for anything
September 13th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
ey sohor jane amar purono shob kichu…amar khoob bhalo legeche lekhata…
September 16th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
hehhehe…..kind of…cld relate well……may b ur words said wat i left unsaid……..janina……kolkata will always remain special to me in its own way….needless to say i had 1010 alibis everytime i cld smael a chance of me having to leave this city..but this time may b the consolation..i will return soon…is kind of pushing me ahead and may b the age…….things changes, things have changed……but this city will remain to me whatever it is…..not my home may b…but only if there were words to describe wat it means to me…….apart from this the place where we met will not only remain special to me for the fact that we met……but i am sure th place had a charm of its own…..to b frank….i am deliberately and intentionally trying to avoid situation which realtes to that place fr the past two days…coz i know……if not only sad..that will make me feel nostalgic as to cry fr the good old memories……….
September 16th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
amar o khub bhalo legechhe lekhata…but what touched me most is your declaration: “I stay in Kolkata by choice and not by obligation.” can’t seem to get over it
August 6th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
All the best for your future.
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