A handful of thoughts

“Hi, I am Lucy; in the sky with diamonds.”

“Oh shit, oh no….what? I don’t believe this! Then why did you put up that ugly pic in your chat id? Why would anyone do that? Gosh….”

“But I thought you said that it didn’t matter to you how I looked as long as I am the same person. Well I am. And we had agreed that when we first meet, I’ll say I am Lucy in the sky with diamonds.”

“And is Lucy your real name?”

“Well no, it’s Darshana.”

“Right.”

“And is your name Amit?”

“Yes.”

“And are there any more surprises?”

“Not many. Only that I don’t live in Delhi; I live here, in Kolkata and I am not an office assistant; I run my own boutique. I am 28 years old and finally, as you can see, I don’t have any obesity problems.”

That was the hardest blow Amit had ever received in his 12 years of chatting and flirting career. He had met Lucy alias Darshana at a chat room about 6 months ago. They had started talking and slowly found out that they were very much like each other. He could say just anything and everything to Lucy. Her sense of humor and ready wit turned every conversation into a joyride. She shared his choice of films and his love of travelling. Within days, they had exchanged phone numbers and Amit got into a habit of talking to her everyday till late into the night.  Sometimes the night just slipped away while he lay in his cot listening to her husky voice. Sometimes Amit felt this irresistible urge to pin her to the bed next to him and was totally surprised at this sudden arousal.

It was not the first time that he became intimate with a chat buddy. There were other girls before and he had some quick but short liaisons with them. But this girl was different. With every passing day, the urge to see her, grew stronger in him but she always refused to even put up her pic on the the internet. He was even willing to take a leave and go to Delhi just to see her once. She said she lived in Delhi and worked at a share broking company as office assistant.

Amit was almost in love with her, or so it seemed to him. Though he hadn’t seen her, her personality was all that mattered and it was that that drew him towards her everyday. He was not one of those cheap fellows who judged women by their looks. He wanted a girl with whom he could share more than just is bed.

32 years and several girlfriends old, Amit was now looking to settle down. One night he told Lucy, “would you please post a pic of yours? I want to show it to my mother.”

Lucy: “But your mother would not like the way I look. You see I am not that ravishing to look at. Are you sure you want to do this?”

Amit:”What are you talking about? Didn’t I tell you a thousand times earlier that looks do not matter to me? How did you even think of me as so superficial?”

Lucy: “Hmm I’ll think about it.”

Amit had played his best card and knew he’ll be able to see Lucy’s pic the next day itself. How would she look? Would she be fair, or dusky? Normally he finds the dusky type sexier, but with Lucy he doesn’t mind. Would she have long hair? The longer hairstyle is in among women now; most likely Lucy will also sport a long hairstyle.

The next day, Amit got up earlier than usual, drove to office, switched on his laptop and logged in to his chat id.

As expected, Lucy has uploaded her pic. She is a very fat woman, exceptionally fair with hair tied in a ponytail. Her smile is unmistakably of one with a clear heart. Evidently, Lucy was not made for him. Amit could not introduce her to his friends. His friends are not of the cerebral type; they wouldn’t care to find out how intelligent or refined Lucy is. They would only make fun of him for going around with a fat woman. Amit didn’t care a hoot for Lucy’s looks or for what other people think. But Lucy is special and yet, even his mother would be shocked to see her. He decided, it was best for him and for Lucy that they don’t stay in touch anymore.

But how could she do this to him? She could have told him that she was fat. Then at least they could remain friends, but now its impossible. Amit quickly sent an sms to Lucy saying that he has to leave for Europe on an urgent official assignment and shall not be available on his mobile number for a while. There was no need for it though, because Lucy never called him - it was always he who did it. Having done that Amit headed for the smokers’ area - he badly needed a fag.

Over a cigarette Amit tossed the coins. At length he managed to convince himself that he has been wronged and betrayed by Lucy and the best way to cope with this was to make fun of it all. He went inside, turned to Tridib who sits next to him and said:

“You know I’ve been talking to this girl. She speaks well; so I thought an intelligent girl would add some variety; you know a change of taste. But she was reluctant to show me her pic and after a lot of pestering look what she has sent me.”

Tridib peeped into Amit’s monitor screen, and broke out laughing out aloud. Tridib’s laughter drew others to Amit’s desk and now that he had an audiesnce, Amit related the same story all over again to them, in the end displaying Lucy’s pic and as expected, everyone broke out laughing.

Lucy had never called him in these months.

The woman who stood before Amit now, was a tall dusky woman whose chiseled face was framed with black curly tresses that reached down to her waist. That was her. Darshana, not Lucy.

“Huh, I got you with that pic haan? I was just playing a prank on you; didn’t think you would freak out like that. Anyways, what are you doing here? Shopping? Are you alone?”

“Errr no; I am with a friend. You?”

“I am with friends as well. Celebrating a friend’s birthday. I just came to surprise you. Anyways, I have to go. It was nice meeting you bye, cya.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

Darshana disappeared into the colorful and crowd and Amit picked up his phone.

On the other side of the phone, Mitali started screaming, “where on earth are you? And why are you not picking up the phone? I called you thrice and sent you two sms. I finished shopping fifteen minutes ago but there’s no sign of you. I think we had plans to dine together.”

“Stay there. I’m coming.”

Mitali is Amit’s girlfriend now. His search for a pretty lady on Orkut had brought him to her. He met her, went on with their dinner plans and dropped her home.

Next day, Amit changed his mobile number, deleted Mitali from his friend list and never saw her again.