A handful of thoughts

1. To die in a poisonous gas leak/explosion - This is one of the surest ways to hit the headlines in India. All you have to do is stay near a chemical factory and die choking in some poisonous gas emitted from the poorly managed and negligently handled factory.

2. Be struck by a mine planted by Maoists or be present on a train that falls victim to a Maoists ploy, gets derailed and is then hit by a goods train coming from the opposite direction. This is about one of the surest ways to hit the headlines. Your photo, your spouse’s your family tree, all of these will be gleefully published.

3. To be on a plane that skids off the runway and kills you. Even better if you were supposed to get married within a month’s time of the disaster.

4. To be killed by your or your spouse’s family members for marrying outside the clan/caste.

5. To be at a railway station/cafe/5 star hotel/your home while gun brandishing terrorists break fire on you.

6. To be present at an old building in Calcutta and be burnt alive in the middle of the day for being unable to reach the fire exit (as it doesn’t exist) or the terrace (which remains locked). The TV channels and newspapers will show your mother’s wailing photos besides your charred remains.

7. Be molested by the Inspector General of Police and then commit suicide. This will ensure you are remembered for the coming 19 years as that is the time the judiciary will take to punish your molester.

8. Come to India as a missionary to work among tribal poor and lepers and be burnt alive in your station wagon along with your sons by some communal fanatics.

9. Be ripped apart into pieces along with hundreds others while traveling on a suburban train in Mumbai.

10. Light candles in memory of the dead; appear on news channels and answer questions related to the deaths; sympathize with the family of the dead; protest against the atrocities of the govt. and…..do nothing about anything anyways.