Riya is my friend. A particularly bubbly girl with chestnut brown skin, thick wire like curly hair that reaches well below her waist and small glittery eyes which she always keeps lined heavily with kohl. Riya however, has a problem. She cannot bear to stay single and has a penchant for all the wrong men in the whole wide world. She falls in love with them; no, makes them fall in love with her, passes through a period on intense psychological turmoil, lets herself get immensely emotionally dependent on them and keeps on tightening her grip around their neck until they leave her. And then of course one fine day I receive a call from her; a voice choked with tears tells me - “he left me.”
Do not let my statement make you assume though, that all she is interested in is getting laid. No. She is a stickler for “emotional attachment” which for her must precede any act of sexual intimacy. Which in plain and simple words mean, she goes through a period of intense, wild, non-stop flirting, err courting, at the end of which she always manages to let herself get used to this man and then of course sleeps with him. After every first-sex with a man, she unfailingly calls me to tell me “I dunno how it all happened. Oh my god…what am I doing! You know we never planned it, it just happened.” The good listener that I am, I let her go on and on with it, until of course she tells me “wait he’s calling me, I’ll catch up with you later.”
Last heard, she was dating her filthy rich ex-colleague whom she had picked after being dumped by her next to last boyfriend. According to her they had bonded very well (both in bed and off it) and had great chemistry. She even claimed that with him she feels ‘complete’ (I didn’t dare ask her whether the earlier guys made her feel truncated in any way). They’ve been dating for the past five months and I was expecting her “he left me” call sometime soon. And I did receive her call. But to my surprise, there was no teary voice on the other side. Instead, a frantic, agitated voice told me “that son of a bitch! What does he think of himself? Does he think I’m a fool!” I was alarmed. And we decided to meet over coffee.
Her story:
She: Last Friday I night at about 11:30 I received an sms from him saying ‘OK’. Following it right after came another sms saying ‘wrong sms pls ignore’. What do you think I should make of it? I know how he hates texting. You know he’s the kind of guy who always prefers to call about anything rather than texting. And the next msg almost sounded apologetic. As if he’s trying to cover something up.
Me: Mmmm I don’t quite get you.
She: Are you dumb! That must be a girl he was talking to.
Me: I’m sorry I still don’t get you. Exactly what led you to that conclusion?
She: Well, its 11:30 at night and a person who hates to send sms sends a wrong sms to me. And it read ‘ok’ which means he was in the middle of a conversation. Don’t you get that!
Me: Last night you sent me a msg that read “tomorrow 6:15, usual place” and I clearly remember having replied with an ‘ok’ and the clock struck about midnight.
She: But we are different. We are friends and we are not self-proclaimed sms haters. And, we are GIRLS, aren’t we?
Me: A friend of his might have asked something to which he responded ‘ok’. What’s the big deal? Or maybe it was his boss asking him about an assignment.
She: Excuse me, are you on my side or his?
Me: (Silence)
She: I think its over.
Me: You know what?
She: What?
Me: I just realised, that you are the most perfect woman I’ve seen in my life.
She: Well, what made you say that now?
Me: You are a woman straight out of one of those emails we keep getting everyday about wives, girlfriends, women drivers, et al. Wow!
She: And you know what? Its the best compliment I’ve ever got in my ****ing 29 years of life. Thanks.
P.S. I’ve sent her about 60 mails and over 200 texts to her since then. She’s yet to respond. I’ll have to wait till she meets the next “The Guy” I suppose.
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